Sunday, July 20, 2008

July/ Chapter 8: Sexual Dysfunction part 2

Sexual addiction is the behaviour of someone that exhibits extremely high sex drive, and this manifests in the form of an obsession or addiction to sex with many partners, including prostitutes for some individuals. Now unlike someone that is just highly sexually active, sex addiction is like other psychological addictions where the individual is unwilling or unable to stop the behaviour despite harmful consequences.

Sex addiction affects both sexes, and can affect people of all social classes, and ethnicity. Now it's important for the person affected to know they're not a bad person, it's just a problem millions of people also suffer from. But it should be a problem that is identified and tackled because it affects relationships with those around them (friends, family) and also affects their ability to hold down a proper relationship.

The problem is generally caused by low self esteem, which could have arisen from neglect or sexual abuse as a child. If a child is neglected then it can grow up with unhealthy and negative core self beliefs. When he or she grows up then they will believe people in the world don't care about them.

The irony is that a sex addict might feel desperately lonely, but because they fear or do not believe in intimacy, they will distance themselves from a partner and have problems with keeping a relationship going. After a while the person becomes addicted the rush of meeting and having sex with new partners.

That's because they've become addicted to the brain chemicals linked to sex. For example, dopamine is released during intimate and sexual activity, and serotonin is released during orgasm. After the chemical hit though the sex addict will then fear or disbelieve intimacy can form with the person they've had sex with.

There are self-help groups to deal with sex addiction such as sex addicts annonymous or sexaholics annonymous. Therapists will use individual as well as group therapy, and focus on cognitive behavioural therapy, which focuses on changing a person's assumptions, beliefs and thus behaviour.

It's important for a sex addict to get help from an experienced and trained counsellor. But that's also rare because similar to a drug addict, a sex addict will rarely seek help unless they hit bottom and feel some sort of despair.

The last form of sexual dysfunction I'll talk about is called Delayed ejaculation. It's basically the inability or extreme difficulty in achieving orgasm, despite the presence of normal sexual desire, and sexual stimulation. Normally a guy can cum in just a few minutes, but someone with delayed ejaculation can take 30-45 min, or even longer.

Now, this might be sound like heavenly bliss for a girl, and a sure way for a girl to get mulitple orgasms. Perfect if you're fuck buddy has this problem, but it can lead to problems in a long term relationship. Firstly the girl will feel that for some reason she's unable to make her man cum and that could affect her self esteem. Secondly, if you want to have kids this could be a serious barrier.

The main reason for delayed ejaculation is adaptation to a certain masturbatory technique. Most guys with delayed ejaculation have no problems cumming during maturbation, but fail during sex. That's because they've gotten used to the pressure, angle and grip during masturbation which is hugely different from the feeling during intercourse.

There could also be physical causes such as certain neurological diseases, or trauma to the nerves in the pelvic region. Anti-depressants and the excessive use of alcohol could also cause this problem.

Assuming the cause is the first reason I've stated, to prevent the problem the guy simply needs to stop masturbating for a long period of time and get used to the feeling of just stimulation from normal sex. The guy also needs to have a healthy view towards sexuality because any anxiety or fears could cause this problem. Finally, a guy should just enjoy the experience rather than worrying if he's going to cum or not.


Anonymous said...

about delayed ejaculation, wot ur saying is, it cld be purely physical problem. do u think there's also a very high chance that the guy isnt really into having sex with his partner?

curious ex-gf who broke up with her ex becox he cld never cum

Carlton Bradshaw said...

It's mainly physical. Definitely one of the best solutions is the guy should stop masturbating altogether. Here's more reading:

If you broke up with him because you thought he wasn't into you, don't worry. At the end of the day it's still a serious issue, and can negatively impact the relationship.

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