Thursday, July 3, 2008

July/ Chapter 2: Getting guys interested

I realised recently a woman's greatest fear is not being alone for life, not getting a husband, nor is it not ever having kids.

Her greatest fear is being labelled a slut. Now different people have different standards for what is considered "too easy". What some girls consider is ok, is viewed by other girls as slutty. But very few girls will openly go out and live a life of no shame, sleeping around with every guy that she found attractive. Something a lot of guys have no problem in doing.

There's a few reasons for this. There's the genetic driver for finding the best man as mentioned before. Then there's a lot of social conditioning driving a girl to behave in a socially acceptable way. This causes a girl to act prudishly to protect her pride and self dignity, whether it's internally, or to do with how others perceive them.

This behaviour is stronger in traditional cultures, but here's the strange thing. In Asia, girls tend to be either extremely prudish, and have much higher standards than what you see in Western cultures, or you get the other extreme, for example there's a lot girls who willingly becoming pros in China.

Acting prudishly might be a good thing in many cases but there's a couple of misconceptions that girls have.

A lot of girls feel it's bad to flirt or hit on guys. Even if a girl likes a guy she won't go after the guy but will wait for the guy to chase her. Girls need to realise it can be hard for a guy to hit on a girl as well, especially if the guy's afraid he will crash and burn, and get rejected. Maybe the guy just hasn't made up his mind and if a girl acts stand offish, he will decide to look elsewhere. Flirting with a guy can really add to a girl's chances by making the guy braver or even arousing interest in the guy when he was originally in neutral mode.

But for some reason lots of girls will wait, and let the guys lead. Or even worse, they will play hard to get and act stand offish, thinking it gives the image they are not easy, when in fact it's pushing guys away. The best thing to do is to be friendly to all guys, and taking the time to find out what the guy is like before deciding he's not the one.

I think most girls know how to flirt with guys, because when guys hit on girls and girls are interested it comes naturally. The obvious is to maintain a lot of eye contact, smile a lot, always remain cheerful and interesting. One thing a lot of girls don't realise though is if they want a guy they need to move away from their friends. Sure, having friends around for protection is good, but it can scare the guy who's worried if he gets rejected others will see.

The second thing many girls don't realise is being shy in bed is a bad thing. Lots of girls think if they seem too experienced then it might scare the guy. But there's a subtle difference between acting way too experienced and lying there like a "dead fish" which is an even bigger turn off. There's a few things a girl can do to get a guy more interested with her in bed.

Guys generally get more turned on if they see the girl is more turned on. So if you're enjoying it then show it, you probably only have a problem if you're not enjoying it (go find someone else). A girl's facial expressions can vary from enjoyment to pain, when she's really enjoying herself. But whatever the expression don't be afraid to show this.

With regard to noises, do not pretend and make fake sounds, do not talk dirty unless you know the guy likes dirty talk. Most guys in Asia do not like dirty talk. Do scream and moan naturally, no matter how loud, unless it's going to get you in trouble with the neighbours. When I was in university I used to date this girl that screamed really loud, and it was a real turn on. But I had to give her a pillow to cover her head when my house mates came home.

Telling a guy what feels good and what doesn't is also important. Since there are differences between people, what works on one person might be uncomfortable or even painful to someone else. A guy doesn't know that you're really liking it or hating it unless you tell him. But telling him is a real turn on, especially when you're cumming, there's no harm in letting him know.

Holding a guy's back and butt when in missionary position or even wrapping your legs around him is a turn on. Looking back at a guy when in doggy style is a turn on.

The first time you sleep with a guy do not give a guy a blow job if he doesn't ask for it, but if he asks for it then don't turn the guy down. A blow job and also going down on a girl is the most routine thing in foreplay, but a lot of girls either have an issue going down on a guy or a guy going down on them. There's a lot of trust involved but just relax and you're probably find it an extremely enjoyable experience. Also, remember there are other sensitive points on a guy's body, in fact same as a girl's, such as ears and the nipples.

Remember to just have fun and enjoy when having sex with a guy. Acting shy in bed is the worst thing to do.

1 comment:

Snickers said...

The reason most women don't ask guys out is because they are afraid of rejection and feel embarassed. They are less able to handle rejection emotionally, compared to men (and take like a million years to recover from the shame). Another reason is the stigma attached to women who make the first move. She is seen by others as loose or desperate.

Girls play hard to get or stand offish only if they are not too interested in the guy. Trust me, if a girl really really likes a guy, and despite her gazillion friends advising her to "play the game" and "hold back", she, being the emotional creature, will not be able to do that. Am sure you've watched and read "He's just not that into you". Remember how delusional the women there were? They will make up a million and one reasons (in the guy's favour)why the guy is not calling, not responding, etc. Women are delusional when they like a guy. They can't control themselves. So, truth is, a woman can't control herself enough to play hard to get when she really really likes a guy. So, if she's not responding, then she really is not that into you. (P/s: She may still like the attention tho, and occasionally give a come on.)

As to the point that women should take the time to find out what the guy is like before writing him off - well, many girls have tried the let's be friends and get to know each other approach. Later when she decides that no, he's not doing it for her and then tells the guy sorry, no chance, the guy turns psychotic, calls her a bitch and blames her for leading him on, even though she had initially said "let's just be friends". So, wouldn't it be better if she shrugged him off from the start if she knew they weren't going to be?

Website counter