The first part of the note is the original piece of crap. You may have read it before because it's been floating around the internet and facebook. The second part is my response to it, and if you've read any of my stuff you'll know you'll either laugh at my response or find it vulgar (you have been warned):
TO EVERY WOMEN WHO'RE WORTH A LOT........AND EVERY MAN WHO NEEDS TO KNOW
In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question, "What kind of man are you looking for?"
She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking, "Do you really want to know?"
Reluctantly, he said "Yes."
She began to expound..., "As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man….. or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, what can you bring to the table?"
The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."
He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.
She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive... he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a help mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself."
When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, "You’re asking a lot."
She replied, "I'm worth a lot."
To every woman who're worth a lot.... and every man who needs to know.
_________________________________________________________________
To the girls:
The fantasy:
The man is perfect in every aspect of his life
Perfect mentally
Good conversationist
Spiritual
Financially perfect
Knows what a woman goes through
Sensitive
Someone that can be respected
You forgot to add, faithful, not butt ugly and relatively tall
The reality:
Such a man, if he exists is either gay or in a relationship already, because if he's that special you can be sure his girlfriend guards him like the holy grail and will fend off all you other girls from a mile away.
The other 99.9% of men out there lack most of these qualities:
Perfect mentally: Lol, wtf does this mean anyway? I've heard of smart, but perfect mentally? I know plenty of guys that are totally mental. Is that anything close?
Good conversationist: Most guys are full of brain farts. Or they're full of shit. If a guy is a really smooth talker you can be sure he's trying to sweet talk mulitple girls into bed.
Spiritual: I respect religion so I won't mess around with this. But most girls can't even find a nice guy. You sure you can find a spiritual guy that's got the other qualities?
Financially perfect: Again wtf does this mean? If it means what I think it means then only Bill Gates and Warren Buffet qualify. Are you sure you want to have sex with a nerd or a man born in 1930? The rest of us go from slightly imperfect but able to buy you bottles in a club to dish washers in the back of a resturant.
Knows what a woman goes through: He must be gay
Sensitive: Gay, or a player trying to get into your pants
Someone that can be respected: Most men are either emasculated and weak versions of our former, hunter, warrior race. Which is why women called them nice guys, pat them on the back, friend zone them and then complain there are no nice guys.
Or
They're strong, don't get pushed around, don't grovel for a woman's attention, are not needy, are not clingy, respect themselves. But they're sleeping around.
Physical aspects: As for the rest of men, they're either too short, look like a car ran over their face, or their penis are so small when they put it in the girl asks "Is it in yet?"
The reality is, we're not perfect. The above list is the equivalent of a man asking for a super hot girl, with a perfect body, smart, nice personality, has a good sense of humor, caring, not a gold digger, and willing to cook, clean and handwash the skid marks off our underwear.
Deal with it, or stay single forever chasing ghosts. By that I mean either compromise or raise your own level.
To the men:
Just get perfect in bed. Then you can bang your girlfriend so hard and so long she orgasms multiple times. When she's mumbling or screaming, the last thing she'll want is mental stimulation or good conversation.
By Willie Booker (you know the deal, copy and paste then forward if you found it funny) You can slap me (on my bum) if you didn't.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
The night I caught the flu
Ladies and gentlemen
Let me explain something to you.
Most of the problems you have as a result of the opposite sex can be avoided if simply if you listened your to better judgement instead of throwing caution to the wind by following your primal desires.
The weekend I just had was a perfect example. It started pretty innocently on Friday night......
Friday night 10 pm: Met up with a friend and took her to my friend's bday party in a private club where everyone seemed to be having a lot of fun. I was meant to be on a diet and off alcohol for the next month. However seeing how everyone was having so much fun I told myself a vodka tonic couldn't hurt, I mean I wasn't exactly ordering a pint of beer.
Two hours later I had finished my 5th Vodka tonic and this should have been a warning to myself that I had zero willpower and self control, and should avoid all risky endeavors for the night.
Midnight: Leave my friend's bday party and meet up with this girl I met two weeks ago. She was with her cousins and friends and we all go to a relatively packed and pumping club.
00:15am: The girl buys me my 6th Vodka tonic. Normally I wouldn't dream of letting a girl buy me drinks but since she knows the bartenders and can get the drinks for dead cheap I oblige.
00:30am: Her cousin's fiance's cousin (I know it's confusing), this really short, ugly, annoying guy who obviously doesn't know how to pick up women starts trying to drag me across the club, telling me how he was going to teach me the art of pick up.
I didn't think this was a good idea since I wanted to chat to the girl I came with, plus I didn't think it was a good idea to let women see me walking around with this guy.
00:40am: Girl tells me her face is getting really hot, and that she had a fever earlier in the morning. I touch her head and indeed her forehead was sizzling. I told her she shouldn't be out and maybe she should go home, but she insists she's fine. I proceed to rub ice cubes over her face. I wasn't sure if this was a good move or not but I don't care anymore because I am on my 7th vodka.
01:15am: Head to the dancefloor with the girl. The dancefloor was packed which meant I was pressed close to her. Perfect! We started grinding and I was getting seriously turned on, plus I realized if I wanted to I could easily kiss her. But then I remembered she had a fever and it would obviously be a bad idea to make out with a girl that was ill.
Normally it would be easy to make the right choice. But after 7 vodka tonics, my brain decided the choice wasn't that easy. In fact, I started having an internal monologue about the merits of making out with a girl that was obviously not feeling well. It went something like this:
Good Willie: Don't you dare touch her lips. You'll get sick.
Bad Willie: Dude, her mouth is about 6 inches away from your mouth. This might be your only chance so just go for it.
Good Willie: She's running a fever. You know one of the early symptoms of the Ebola virus is a high fever?
Bad Willie: Put your hand on her butt, you can't catch a virus via hand to butt contact.
Good Willie: Willie, you're obviously desperate or a manwhore.
Bad Willie: Oh come on. She's wearing a short miniskirt and she's looking hot. Any normal guy given the circumstances would put his hand on her ass. (proceeds to start kissing her neck)
Good Willie: Don't kiss her lips! You will regret it tomorrow!
Bad Willie: uh huh, whatever. Talk to the hand, bitch.
01:16am: After 20 seconds of internal monologue, start making out with the girl.
02:30am: Go and grab some food. Kiss the girl some more.
03:30am: Move to Prive, when we get there it's relatively empty and I'm not surprised. There was this stench of puke towards the left side of the club. Someone obviously couldn't handle their alcohol, and considering how packed Prive normally is, I couldn't help but imagine this girl or guy puking up all over a bunch of people.
03:45am: The annoying guy that wanted to teach me how to pick up girls arrives at Prive. He didn't leave with us because he was trying to pick some girl up. Now he was at the front, trying to get in and with this buck toothed pork chop who was all excited, probably because she hasn't been picked up in over two years.
I don't want to be mean, but this girl was so ugly even the girl I was with commented on how she was getting goose bumps.
04:15am: Prive is officially dead and they close the club earlier than usual.
04:30am: Annoying guy and bucked toothed pork chop go home in a cab..................I feel sick and almost puked up on the curb.
04:40am: Call it a night. Say bye to everyone, kiss the girl again and head on home.
Next morning...............
09:30: Wake up feeling like shit which is pretty normal after a big night out.
09:31: Check facebook.
10am: Wash my face, brush my teeth, take a dump. All the normal things people do in the morning.
11am: Go downstairs to eat breakfast.
Noon: Go back to sleep, had another party to go to later that night so wanted to be well rested.
4pm: Wake up and still feel shit. Which is not right because normally after an afternoon nap I stop feeling hung over and get on with my life again. But then I sneeze twice.....oh oh.
Good Willie: See I told you!
Bad Willie: STFU
5pm: I start having that feeling a person gets just before he gets sick. Kinda lightheaded, and a bit sore all over the body. But I decided it couldn't really be that bad. I mean I was drinking vodka, and alcohol kills germs right? There was no way I could have gotten sick by making out with the girl.
Never underestimate the power of denial..........
5:30pm: I head to the gym. I know it's not a good idea to work out if I'm feeling sick, but I needed to work off the calories from the night before. Besides, I wasn't sick, it was just my imagination..............right?
8pm: Back home from the gym and feel like shit. Take my temperature and it's 37.9 celcius. That's ok, right? I mean the normal body temperature is 37 degrees celcius.
9pm: 38.1 celcius. Oh shit, this isn't good. But I had another bday party to attend and I promised to go. Also sick girl was out again tonight and I wanted to see her again.
11pm: 38 celcius. Good, I'm getting better already. This is my greenlight for going out, life is too short to worry anyway...........
Day 3: 10am: I check my temperature and it's 38.3 celcius. I feel like shit and I'm burning up. I feel like calling my mum but I realize she lives over an hour away. I SMS sick girl and she tells me she just got back from the doctor and was running a high fever.
Good Willie:
Ladies and gentlemen
Let me explain something to you.
Most of the problems you have as a result of the opposite sex can be avoided if simply if you listened your to better judgement instead of throwing caution to the wind by following your primal desires.
Let me explain something to you.
Most of the problems you have as a result of the opposite sex can be avoided if simply if you listened your to better judgement instead of throwing caution to the wind by following your primal desires.
The weekend I just had was a perfect example. It started pretty innocently on Friday night......
Friday night 10 pm: Met up with a friend and took her to my friend's bday party in a private club where everyone seemed to be having a lot of fun. I was meant to be on a diet and off alcohol for the next month. However seeing how everyone was having so much fun I told myself a vodka tonic couldn't hurt, I mean I wasn't exactly ordering a pint of beer.
Two hours later I had finished my 5th Vodka tonic and this should have been a warning to myself that I had zero willpower and self control, and should avoid all risky endeavors for the night.
Midnight: Leave my friend's bday party and meet up with this girl I met two weeks ago. She was with her cousins and friends and we all go to a relatively packed and pumping club.
00:15am: The girl buys me my 6th Vodka tonic. Normally I wouldn't dream of letting a girl buy me drinks but since she knows the bartenders and can get the drinks for dead cheap I oblige.
00:30am: Her cousin's fiance's cousin (I know it's confusing), this really short, ugly, annoying guy who obviously doesn't know how to pick up women starts trying to drag me across the club, telling me how he was going to teach me the art of pick up.
I didn't think this was a good idea since I wanted to chat to the girl I came with, plus I didn't think it was a good idea to let women see me walking around with this guy.
00:40am: Girl tells me her face is getting really hot, and that she had a fever earlier in the morning. I touch her head and indeed her forehead was sizzling. I told her she shouldn't be out and maybe she should go home, but she insists she's fine. I proceed to rub ice cubes over her face. I wasn't sure if this was a good move or not but I don't care anymore because I am on my 7th vodka.
01:15am: Head to the dancefloor with the girl. The dancefloor was packed which meant I was pressed close to her. Perfect! We started grinding and I was getting seriously turned on, plus I realized if I wanted to I could easily kiss her. But then I remembered she had a fever and it would obviously be a bad idea to make out with a girl that was ill.
Normally it would be easy to make the right choice. But after 7 vodka tonics, my brain decided the choice wasn't that easy. In fact, I started having an internal monologue about the merits of making out with a girl that was obviously not feeling well. It went something like this:
Good Willie: Don't you dare touch her lips. You'll get sick.
Bad Willie: Dude, her mouth is about 6 inches away from your mouth. This might be your only chance so just go for it.
Good Willie: She's running a fever. You know one of the early symptoms of the Ebola virus is a high fever?
Bad Willie: Put your hand on her butt, you can't catch a virus via hand to butt contact.
Good Willie: Willie, you're obviously desperate or a manwhore.
Bad Willie: Oh come on. She's wearing a short miniskirt and she's looking hot. Any normal guy given the circumstances would put his hand on her ass. (proceeds to start kissing her neck)
Good Willie: Don't kiss her lips! You will regret it tomorrow!
Bad Willie: uh huh, whatever. Talk to the hand, bitch.
01:16am: After 20 seconds of internal monologue, start making out with the girl.
02:30am: Go and grab some food. Kiss the girl some more.
03:30am: Move to Prive, when we get there it's relatively empty and I'm not surprised. There was this stench of puke towards the left side of the club. Someone obviously couldn't handle their alcohol, and considering how packed Prive normally is, I couldn't help but imagine this girl or guy puking up all over a bunch of people.
03:45am: The annoying guy that wanted to teach me how to pick up girls arrives at Prive. He didn't leave with us because he was trying to pick some girl up. Now he was at the front, trying to get in and with this buck toothed pork chop who was all excited, probably because she hasn't been picked up in over two years.
I don't want to be mean, but this girl was so ugly even the girl I was with commented on how she was getting goose bumps.
04:15am: Prive is officially dead and they close the club earlier than usual.
04:30am: Annoying guy and bucked toothed pork chop go home in a cab..................I feel sick and almost puked up on the curb.
04:40am: Call it a night. Say bye to everyone, kiss the girl again and head on home.
Next morning...............
09:30: Wake up feeling like shit which is pretty normal after a big night out.
09:31: Check facebook.
10am: Wash my face, brush my teeth, take a dump. All the normal things people do in the morning.
11am: Go downstairs to eat breakfast.
Noon: Go back to sleep, had another party to go to later that night so wanted to be well rested.
4pm: Wake up and still feel shit. Which is not right because normally after an afternoon nap I stop feeling hung over and get on with my life again. But then I sneeze twice.....oh oh.
Good Willie: See I told you!
Bad Willie: STFU
5pm: I start having that feeling a person gets just before he gets sick. Kinda lightheaded, and a bit sore all over the body. But I decided it couldn't really be that bad. I mean I was drinking vodka, and alcohol kills germs right? There was no way I could have gotten sick by making out with the girl.
Never underestimate the power of denial..........
5:30pm: I head to the gym. I know it's not a good idea to work out if I'm feeling sick, but I needed to work off the calories from the night before. Besides, I wasn't sick, it was just my imagination..............right?
8pm: Back home from the gym and feel like shit. Take my temperature and it's 37.9 celcius. That's ok, right? I mean the normal body temperature is 37 degrees celcius.
9pm: 38.1 celcius. Oh shit, this isn't good. But I had another bday party to attend and I promised to go. Also sick girl was out again tonight and I wanted to see her again.
11pm: 38 celcius. Good, I'm getting better already. This is my greenlight for going out, life is too short to worry anyway...........
Day 3: 10am: I check my temperature and it's 38.3 celcius. I feel like shit and I'm burning up. I feel like calling my mum but I realize she lives over an hour away. I SMS sick girl and she tells me she just got back from the doctor and was running a high fever.
Good Willie:
Ladies and gentlemen
Let me explain something to you.
Most of the problems you have as a result of the opposite sex can be avoided if simply if you listened your to better judgement instead of throwing caution to the wind by following your primal desires.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
How to never date a jerk ever again
Ok so in the last post I tried to explain some of the reasons that lead to women falling for jerks. Here now are some of the solutions and things a woman needs to realize about herself if she wants to avoid dating jerks again.
1) Idealization. Idealization is the process in which a person once attracted starts looking through rose tinted glasses WAY TOO EARLY. I mean it's normal for people to become emotionally attached and to overall look problems in a partner later on. But when a woman gives a guy too much credit early on then she will miss glaring warning signals about the guy.
This usually happens because the woman is attracted to the guy, and doesn't want to acknowledge any information that might lead to disappointment. So basically by filtering out the warning signs that the guy might be a jerk, she creates the perception that the guy is Prince Charming in her own mind.
Stop watching chick flicks. Flawed men don't change like they do in the movies. They might fall in love and change for a short period of time, but because their personalities are naturally selfish they will also revert back to their selfish ways later. So observe carefully for warning signs, and don't over idealize.
A list of warning signs are in my book, so I don't want to repeat here.
2) Accelerated courtship. Again chick flicks and the love at first sight belief causes this problem and gets a lot of women in trouble.
The courtship process if anything should be slowed down, and used by a person (men or women) to critically assess if the other person is a going to be a good partner or not. Most people take things way too quickly these days. Many people these days have sex after 2 weeks and 3 dates, which means they often get emotionally attached before they've even gotten to know someone else properly.
By the time they've gotten to know the other person properly, ie find out the other person is a jerk, they're already emotionally attached because of this accelerated courtship and then they find it very hard to pull away, and chose to overlook a lot of problems in the relationship.
Basically rushing it at the start could mean you end up wasting years on a guy you otherwise wouldn't even have gone out with because if you hadn't rushed it you would have seen problems in the guy.
3) Confusing chemistry with knowing someone. I've heard many women go on about chemistry now, and I can tell you contrary to popular belief that chemistry is a terrible predictor of whether a man if going to be a good partner going forward. If chemistry was accurate then women would not feel chemistry for jerks, but many women have indeed felt chemistry for a guy that then turned out to be a nightmare boyfriend.
The reason this happens is because a lot of women are placing trust and chemistry on the wrong type of information from a guy, the most common mistakes are as follows:
a) The guy shares a lot with a woman about his personal feelings, so she feels like he's really opened up. Well guess what any human being including a jerk can open up about feelings. That doesn't mean the person isn't selfish.
To get past this, you still have to observe how the person really is, whether they are selfish, how they treated their ex girlfriends, how good is their relationship with their parents, etc. A naturally selfish person will talk badly about ex girlfriends, and usually talk badly about their parents.
b) A lot of couples spend a lot of time together doing stuff that are fun. They have so much fun together the woman places chemistry on their shared experience together. But again she doesn't actually know anything about the guy.
4) Repetition compulsion. This is probably the weirdest and most interesting phenonmenon, and I touched upon it slightly in the last post. If a woman had a bad father she is at risk of picking a man like her father when she grows up. Which is why women with abusive fathers often pick men that turn out to be abusive themselves, or if their fathers treated their mothers badly, cheated etc, divorced and gone, they are likely to be drawn to jerks.
The same happens if a woman gets hurt badly by a jerk and doesn't get over the pain of it. Then she will repeatedly be drawn to jerks and find even confident nice guys boring, or feel a lack of attraction.
The reason why this happens is this. The woman is naturally drawn to men like her father or like the ex that hurt her because she never truly got closure. Subconsciously without even realizing it, and even if she consciously tells herself she doesn't want to date jerks ever again, or men like her father, she's being drawn to these men in order to find closure. She wants to have a relationship with one of these men and actually make things work, which is a problem because a man with an unhealthy attitude to relationships can't be changed. So the girl gets hurt again and again, and her wounds get deeper, and she ends up seeking these men even more to get closure.
Remember all this is in the subconscious, the girl isn't even aware she's doing this and consciously she might even hate jerks. To the girl it just seems she has bad luck, or she'll start thinking all men are scum. But bring a nice guy alone and the girl will actually lose interest because she's used to chasing jerks and trying to change the jerk to get this closure.
To get over this problem the girl has to:
a) be aware of this weird subconscious act.
b) deal with the thing that was originally driving this behavior which is the pain caused by her father or the first boyfriend that hurt her badly, and let go of this pain. She has to truly grieve and acknowledge that her father or her ex did her wrong, and truly let out the pain and anger, and to have someone else listen to this pain and truly understand her.
That's basically what therapy does, and why people open up to tell a therapist their childhood problems. Until they're truly understood they will repeatedly perform the same irrational behaviors that hurt themselves.
When it comes to relationships, a woman needs to understand repetition compulsion and let go of the past if she's to stop being attracted to jerks.
Hope that helps you ladies out there.
1) Idealization. Idealization is the process in which a person once attracted starts looking through rose tinted glasses WAY TOO EARLY. I mean it's normal for people to become emotionally attached and to overall look problems in a partner later on. But when a woman gives a guy too much credit early on then she will miss glaring warning signals about the guy.
This usually happens because the woman is attracted to the guy, and doesn't want to acknowledge any information that might lead to disappointment. So basically by filtering out the warning signs that the guy might be a jerk, she creates the perception that the guy is Prince Charming in her own mind.
Stop watching chick flicks. Flawed men don't change like they do in the movies. They might fall in love and change for a short period of time, but because their personalities are naturally selfish they will also revert back to their selfish ways later. So observe carefully for warning signs, and don't over idealize.
A list of warning signs are in my book, so I don't want to repeat here.
2) Accelerated courtship. Again chick flicks and the love at first sight belief causes this problem and gets a lot of women in trouble.
The courtship process if anything should be slowed down, and used by a person (men or women) to critically assess if the other person is a going to be a good partner or not. Most people take things way too quickly these days. Many people these days have sex after 2 weeks and 3 dates, which means they often get emotionally attached before they've even gotten to know someone else properly.
By the time they've gotten to know the other person properly, ie find out the other person is a jerk, they're already emotionally attached because of this accelerated courtship and then they find it very hard to pull away, and chose to overlook a lot of problems in the relationship.
Basically rushing it at the start could mean you end up wasting years on a guy you otherwise wouldn't even have gone out with because if you hadn't rushed it you would have seen problems in the guy.
3) Confusing chemistry with knowing someone. I've heard many women go on about chemistry now, and I can tell you contrary to popular belief that chemistry is a terrible predictor of whether a man if going to be a good partner going forward. If chemistry was accurate then women would not feel chemistry for jerks, but many women have indeed felt chemistry for a guy that then turned out to be a nightmare boyfriend.
The reason this happens is because a lot of women are placing trust and chemistry on the wrong type of information from a guy, the most common mistakes are as follows:
a) The guy shares a lot with a woman about his personal feelings, so she feels like he's really opened up. Well guess what any human being including a jerk can open up about feelings. That doesn't mean the person isn't selfish.
To get past this, you still have to observe how the person really is, whether they are selfish, how they treated their ex girlfriends, how good is their relationship with their parents, etc. A naturally selfish person will talk badly about ex girlfriends, and usually talk badly about their parents.
b) A lot of couples spend a lot of time together doing stuff that are fun. They have so much fun together the woman places chemistry on their shared experience together. But again she doesn't actually know anything about the guy.
4) Repetition compulsion. This is probably the weirdest and most interesting phenonmenon, and I touched upon it slightly in the last post. If a woman had a bad father she is at risk of picking a man like her father when she grows up. Which is why women with abusive fathers often pick men that turn out to be abusive themselves, or if their fathers treated their mothers badly, cheated etc, divorced and gone, they are likely to be drawn to jerks.
The same happens if a woman gets hurt badly by a jerk and doesn't get over the pain of it. Then she will repeatedly be drawn to jerks and find even confident nice guys boring, or feel a lack of attraction.
The reason why this happens is this. The woman is naturally drawn to men like her father or like the ex that hurt her because she never truly got closure. Subconsciously without even realizing it, and even if she consciously tells herself she doesn't want to date jerks ever again, or men like her father, she's being drawn to these men in order to find closure. She wants to have a relationship with one of these men and actually make things work, which is a problem because a man with an unhealthy attitude to relationships can't be changed. So the girl gets hurt again and again, and her wounds get deeper, and she ends up seeking these men even more to get closure.
Remember all this is in the subconscious, the girl isn't even aware she's doing this and consciously she might even hate jerks. To the girl it just seems she has bad luck, or she'll start thinking all men are scum. But bring a nice guy alone and the girl will actually lose interest because she's used to chasing jerks and trying to change the jerk to get this closure.
To get over this problem the girl has to:
a) be aware of this weird subconscious act.
b) deal with the thing that was originally driving this behavior which is the pain caused by her father or the first boyfriend that hurt her badly, and let go of this pain. She has to truly grieve and acknowledge that her father or her ex did her wrong, and truly let out the pain and anger, and to have someone else listen to this pain and truly understand her.
That's basically what therapy does, and why people open up to tell a therapist their childhood problems. Until they're truly understood they will repeatedly perform the same irrational behaviors that hurt themselves.
When it comes to relationships, a woman needs to understand repetition compulsion and let go of the past if she's to stop being attracted to jerks.
Hope that helps you ladies out there.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Why you find normal guys boring and fall for jerks
For the longest time I couldn't get it, and finally by researching for my book I find the reason why.
Some of you have told me your sob stories, how your ex was a jerk and logically you knew it, but for some reason you keep gravitating to the same type of guy.
To make matters worse some of you find normal guys boring, and keep dating jerks over and over again.
The reason is this:
Did your parents divorce when you were very young?
Did your father not give you much attention when you were a child?
Do you often find yourself feeling lonely?
Do you feel the need to get married badly?
By the way, my parents divorced when I was 3 and I haven't seen my real dad since so I'm not talking out of my ass and judging anyone here.
When it comes to women, if a woman was not given the right amount of attention as a kid from her father then she risks developing wrong perceptions towards relationships later in life. The reason is because a child that gets the right amount of attention from her parents do not seek that attention later on in life.
If a girl doesn't get the right type of attention from her father as a child then she will constantly be drawn to drama and seek out emotional validation in adult relationships.
The problem is she feels she has to seek that approval, if the approval is given to her naturally which a nice guy does then she will feel bored. It's the same as a child not respecting his/her parents if doted on all the time, whilst seeking them out if they don't get the required attention.
A jerk attracts such women because the jerk is constantly creating drama, treating the girl like crap, not showing he cares, or threatens to walk out of the relationship. So the girl will chase the guy to seek emotional validtion and in the process become dependent on the guy even though he's clearly treating her badly.
In other words the attachment and commitment a woman gives a man during marriage and a stable relationship works the other way around in an unhealthy relationship. It makes her attached to a jerk that's clearly treating her badly, and then she can't break away emotionally even if her head tells her otherwise.
Broken families is only one thing that leads to insecurities. Wanting to get married badly, always feeling lonely, etc, can all lead to bad relationship choices.
How to solve this issue? You play it safe with every guy you meet, and you do it by getting the order right:
Get to know him
Find reasons to trust him
Rely on him
Commit to him
Have sex
Many women these days have sex with a guy first before getting to know a guy, and then because she becomes hormonally and emotionally attached to the guy, she starts to trust the guy and rely on the guy when he doesn't even deserve it.
When you get to know someone first in the same way as a friend then you can see what their real personality is like. Your perception is not based on the sweet talk or the charm, which are elevated fake personalities to get a woman hooked in the first place.
When you accurately assess a guy, spot and DON'T OVERLOOK problematic behaviors, you then trust him, not the other way around because you are attracted to the guy and want to be with him.
When trust is built you can then safely rely on the guy. If you get the order wrong and you commit to him first, rely on the guy first, then he could be treating you like crap and you're just one of a dozen girls he's playing and you'll still pine after him.
Here's the really hard part. Have sex last. Why is it hard? Well you risk losing the guy and for that guy to walk out on you. Many women these days don't want to take that risk, or they feel attracted and went for it. But the thing is if a guy isn't even willing to stay with a girl for at least a month or two before she's observed him closely and walks off for the lack of sex, then you've got nothing to lose, since it was sex he was after in the first place.
Jerk thrive in the modern dating environment because many women no longer do this and have sex too early with a guy. What? You don't believe that a guy will hang around for an extended period of time before having sex? Well I'm pretty sure all the healthy relationships I've seen my friends in didn't start off with early sex.
It is a modern myth that guys will not chase a girl for a month or two without the reward of sex, and walks out because of the lack of sex. It's only the jerks that can't wait that long, and hence if you've always dated jerks then the best way to filter them out is have a guy chase you for a month without having sex with the guy. Take that month or two to really get to know the guy well.
Tough huh? Well, that's one of the reasons you might have a jerk for a boyfriend. The even tougher part is even if you are attracted in the first month or two, but you spot problematic behaviors, you have to have the guts to walk away from a guy you are otherwise attracted to.
Also, don't assume if a guy's nice or interesting, or fun, or has many friends he's going to be a good partner. Public persona and what a person's like privately in a relationship are two totally different things. After all most players I know have a lot of friends and are fun to be with.
You have to be willing to ditch a person you feel attraction and chemistry towards if you want to find a nice guy. Most jerks are attractive at the start then change to their real personality later. To spot the real deal you have to have time on your side.
When you have time on your side you have more strength to push for what you want. You either push for change or walk out on the guy. Leave that till later and you're emotionally attached and well............you'll be playing this song....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8XC7idFyvE
Some of you have told me your sob stories, how your ex was a jerk and logically you knew it, but for some reason you keep gravitating to the same type of guy.
To make matters worse some of you find normal guys boring, and keep dating jerks over and over again.
The reason is this:
Did your parents divorce when you were very young?
Did your father not give you much attention when you were a child?
Do you often find yourself feeling lonely?
Do you feel the need to get married badly?
By the way, my parents divorced when I was 3 and I haven't seen my real dad since so I'm not talking out of my ass and judging anyone here.
When it comes to women, if a woman was not given the right amount of attention as a kid from her father then she risks developing wrong perceptions towards relationships later in life. The reason is because a child that gets the right amount of attention from her parents do not seek that attention later on in life.
If a girl doesn't get the right type of attention from her father as a child then she will constantly be drawn to drama and seek out emotional validation in adult relationships.
The problem is she feels she has to seek that approval, if the approval is given to her naturally which a nice guy does then she will feel bored. It's the same as a child not respecting his/her parents if doted on all the time, whilst seeking them out if they don't get the required attention.
A jerk attracts such women because the jerk is constantly creating drama, treating the girl like crap, not showing he cares, or threatens to walk out of the relationship. So the girl will chase the guy to seek emotional validtion and in the process become dependent on the guy even though he's clearly treating her badly.
In other words the attachment and commitment a woman gives a man during marriage and a stable relationship works the other way around in an unhealthy relationship. It makes her attached to a jerk that's clearly treating her badly, and then she can't break away emotionally even if her head tells her otherwise.
Broken families is only one thing that leads to insecurities. Wanting to get married badly, always feeling lonely, etc, can all lead to bad relationship choices.
How to solve this issue? You play it safe with every guy you meet, and you do it by getting the order right:
Get to know him
Find reasons to trust him
Rely on him
Commit to him
Have sex
Many women these days have sex with a guy first before getting to know a guy, and then because she becomes hormonally and emotionally attached to the guy, she starts to trust the guy and rely on the guy when he doesn't even deserve it.
When you get to know someone first in the same way as a friend then you can see what their real personality is like. Your perception is not based on the sweet talk or the charm, which are elevated fake personalities to get a woman hooked in the first place.
When you accurately assess a guy, spot and DON'T OVERLOOK problematic behaviors, you then trust him, not the other way around because you are attracted to the guy and want to be with him.
When trust is built you can then safely rely on the guy. If you get the order wrong and you commit to him first, rely on the guy first, then he could be treating you like crap and you're just one of a dozen girls he's playing and you'll still pine after him.
Here's the really hard part. Have sex last. Why is it hard? Well you risk losing the guy and for that guy to walk out on you. Many women these days don't want to take that risk, or they feel attracted and went for it. But the thing is if a guy isn't even willing to stay with a girl for at least a month or two before she's observed him closely and walks off for the lack of sex, then you've got nothing to lose, since it was sex he was after in the first place.
Jerk thrive in the modern dating environment because many women no longer do this and have sex too early with a guy. What? You don't believe that a guy will hang around for an extended period of time before having sex? Well I'm pretty sure all the healthy relationships I've seen my friends in didn't start off with early sex.
It is a modern myth that guys will not chase a girl for a month or two without the reward of sex, and walks out because of the lack of sex. It's only the jerks that can't wait that long, and hence if you've always dated jerks then the best way to filter them out is have a guy chase you for a month without having sex with the guy. Take that month or two to really get to know the guy well.
Tough huh? Well, that's one of the reasons you might have a jerk for a boyfriend. The even tougher part is even if you are attracted in the first month or two, but you spot problematic behaviors, you have to have the guts to walk away from a guy you are otherwise attracted to.
Also, don't assume if a guy's nice or interesting, or fun, or has many friends he's going to be a good partner. Public persona and what a person's like privately in a relationship are two totally different things. After all most players I know have a lot of friends and are fun to be with.
You have to be willing to ditch a person you feel attraction and chemistry towards if you want to find a nice guy. Most jerks are attractive at the start then change to their real personality later. To spot the real deal you have to have time on your side.
When you have time on your side you have more strength to push for what you want. You either push for change or walk out on the guy. Leave that till later and you're emotionally attached and well............you'll be playing this song....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8XC7idFyvE
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Bad boys come first, Gay men come second, Nice guys come last
Ok I've seriously cut down on the partying and clubbing so I can focus on my writing, and just want to meet a girl I actually like. So tonight was a really surreal experience.
I went clubbing with 7 people tonight and one of the girls I kinda like but I can tell she just wasn't interested and when everyone spread out her and another girl went and spent the entire night with some guys I know that are players. Maybe they're just friends.
But get this.
Meanwhile as I was going wtf, the only gay guy in our group dances with loads of girls. So I start testing this all out. Bad boys > gay men > nice guys.
So I go hit on girls like I usually do and get responses.
Then I walk straight up to two girls say I'm 100% gay and make them laugh and get them to dance with me.
But then I act like a nice guy and crash and burn 100% of the time.
WOMEN ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO NICE GUYS!
Why the hell are all my female friends asking me to intro nice guys to them? If I introduce you to them you're going to complain they're friggin boring! At least ask for exactly what you want, ie NICE and CONFIDENT/FUN, but no one ever mentions the words confident or fun......
The reason there seem to be no nice (AKA nice and confident) guys out there is because if you cut out all the jerks and the nice "boring wimps". Then you got a small percentage of the men left, and most of those (since they respect women) are already in a commited relationship and not screwing around.
The reality is there are few nice guys that have a backbone. Most nice guys will jump when a woman goes "doggy, jump!". Whilst most of the men with backbones that don't fear the consequences of their actions, just don't give a crap about a woman's feelings.
If you want to find the type of man that's strong and interesting, but also a loving husband, like Mel Gibson's character in Braveheart (minus the kilt) you're going about it the wrong way if you think you can turn an outgoing jerk into one.
Love doesn't turn an asshole into a nice person. Well maybe for 2-3 years but not forever. Who the hell dreamt of the changing guy theory anyway? Hollywood?
So basically 100% of the single female population are competing for 2-3% of the single male population that are strong and nice at the same time. That's why there's a shortage of "nice" (aka Nice and confident) guys all over the world. That's why "there are no nice guys out there" is a complaint voiced by single women everywhere.
Solution? Everyone GO FOR THE GAY MEN!
(for the real solution you can contact me personally or just buy the friggin book when it comes out)
I went clubbing with 7 people tonight and one of the girls I kinda like but I can tell she just wasn't interested and when everyone spread out her and another girl went and spent the entire night with some guys I know that are players. Maybe they're just friends.
But get this.
Meanwhile as I was going wtf, the only gay guy in our group dances with loads of girls. So I start testing this all out. Bad boys > gay men > nice guys.
So I go hit on girls like I usually do and get responses.
Then I walk straight up to two girls say I'm 100% gay and make them laugh and get them to dance with me.
But then I act like a nice guy and crash and burn 100% of the time.
WOMEN ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO NICE GUYS!
Why the hell are all my female friends asking me to intro nice guys to them? If I introduce you to them you're going to complain they're friggin boring! At least ask for exactly what you want, ie NICE and CONFIDENT/FUN, but no one ever mentions the words confident or fun......
The reason there seem to be no nice (AKA nice and confident) guys out there is because if you cut out all the jerks and the nice "boring wimps". Then you got a small percentage of the men left, and most of those (since they respect women) are already in a commited relationship and not screwing around.
The reality is there are few nice guys that have a backbone. Most nice guys will jump when a woman goes "doggy, jump!". Whilst most of the men with backbones that don't fear the consequences of their actions, just don't give a crap about a woman's feelings.
If you want to find the type of man that's strong and interesting, but also a loving husband, like Mel Gibson's character in Braveheart (minus the kilt) you're going about it the wrong way if you think you can turn an outgoing jerk into one.
Love doesn't turn an asshole into a nice person. Well maybe for 2-3 years but not forever. Who the hell dreamt of the changing guy theory anyway? Hollywood?
So basically 100% of the single female population are competing for 2-3% of the single male population that are strong and nice at the same time. That's why there's a shortage of "nice" (aka Nice and confident) guys all over the world. That's why "there are no nice guys out there" is a complaint voiced by single women everywhere.
Solution? Everyone GO FOR THE GAY MEN!
(for the real solution you can contact me personally or just buy the friggin book when it comes out)
Friday, September 25, 2009
Book is done!
If anyone has contacts in publishing in the UK or US please let me know.
The first half of my book explains how to spot jerks and how to avoid them. The second half of the book explains how to attract decent men, and the positive thinking processes required to get them.
The first half of my book explains how to spot jerks and how to avoid them. The second half of the book explains how to attract decent men, and the positive thinking processes required to get them.
Monday, August 24, 2009
The reason some girls stay single.......
http://melodymaker.posterous.com/the-reason-some-girls-stay-single-very-funny
This is too funny, I was laughing so hard. At first I thought it must have been a fake but then I did some research and found this guy is for real........
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_N._Sears
This is too funny, I was laughing so hard. At first I thought it must have been a fake but then I did some research and found this guy is for real........
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_N._Sears
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