Girls confuse me......I know most of the time why girls do what they do, but I'm still confused because a lot of the time it lacks logic. For example. When a girl is distressed about a guy or a relationship she will go to her friends for advice. Her friends most of the time will give her logical sound advice, which is often ignored anyway because the advice conflicts with the girl's desires. A couple of months later the friend giving the sound logical advice will find herself in the same situation. But then she will need to get the same sounds logical advice she already knows from her friends. I guess it's not so much the advice, but girls just wanting to be heard when hurting. But it's not very logical is it? You might as well write down the advice you give to your girlfriends on a card and read it back to yourself when you're in the same situation.
But then again, maybe it is all logical since girls are very emotional creatures. So what does this have to do with girls and sex? Well, I've realised girls are pretty illogical about sex as well, and that's because they get emotional about it. A few years back this girl I was hitting on went out with me and my friends. She got drunk and we went home together. Then we started dating, and for 2 years as well. A few weeks after the incident she tells me, if she never got drunk and we didn't have sex we wouldn't be dating now.
Hang on a minute, that makes no sense at all. If she didn't like me enough to date me before we had sex, then why did she want to date me after we had sex? What I didn't get at the time is that sex for a girl is an emotional pair bonding experience. So what about one night stands and flings? Lots of girls have one night stands these days, so surely now that we have contraceptives, girls are able to treat sex as simply something fun and physical, right? Only sometimes....
The reason most one night stands happen after a girl's had quite a bit to drink is because she needs to get rid of her inhibitions. Those inhibitions arise mainly because of two fears.
1) That she's labelled as a slut, because whilst a guy that sleeps with lots of women is seen as a stud, a woman that sleeps around is seen as a slut. Yes pretty unfair rules of judgement from society, but there are reasons for this. Read chapter 3 again about how single mothers are a burden to society.
2) That the guy is just using her, and she might be abandoned after having sex with him.
For the girls that have one night stands or flings. At the back of their minds, the girls fear being used but also want to have some fun, so need to get themselves drunk to remove the fear of being used. Maybe it's the girl who is using the guy, maybe she is able to seperate the physical from the emotional and just have some fun. But only some girls are able to do it, and/or some of the time.
A lot of girls start off in control and not serious, and then some time later, their MSN or facebook status changes to "I hate all men" or "All men are assholes", etc. (yes, stop doing that). Here's something most people don't realise. Sex is more important to a girl than a guy. That seems like a strange statement, because girls don't need sex the same way guys do, and aren't driven by it. Generally sex is bad for a girl, because most guys cum before a girl has her first orgasm. But if the sex is really good, lasts for a couple of hours and the girl has multiple orgasms, she'll go crazy about the guy.
For a guy, good sex is just that, it's physical. For a girl, good sex means she starts to think about the guy in an emotional way. It's strange, and I'm all confused still.....One thing's for sure. If the sex is really good, and the girl starts liking you, but you don't like her, don't want to date her, and don't want the associated guilt trip of telling her to leave you alone.........do this. BE A NICE GUY, call her up 3 times the next day and tell her how much she means to you. Send flowers to her on day 3. She'll think you're a clingy freak and tell you to back off! Problem solved.....
But then again, maybe it is all logical since girls are very emotional creatures. So what does this have to do with girls and sex? Well, I've realised girls are pretty illogical about sex as well, and that's because they get emotional about it. A few years back this girl I was hitting on went out with me and my friends. She got drunk and we went home together. Then we started dating, and for 2 years as well. A few weeks after the incident she tells me, if she never got drunk and we didn't have sex we wouldn't be dating now.
Hang on a minute, that makes no sense at all. If she didn't like me enough to date me before we had sex, then why did she want to date me after we had sex? What I didn't get at the time is that sex for a girl is an emotional pair bonding experience. So what about one night stands and flings? Lots of girls have one night stands these days, so surely now that we have contraceptives, girls are able to treat sex as simply something fun and physical, right? Only sometimes....
The reason most one night stands happen after a girl's had quite a bit to drink is because she needs to get rid of her inhibitions. Those inhibitions arise mainly because of two fears.
1) That she's labelled as a slut, because whilst a guy that sleeps with lots of women is seen as a stud, a woman that sleeps around is seen as a slut. Yes pretty unfair rules of judgement from society, but there are reasons for this. Read chapter 3 again about how single mothers are a burden to society.
2) That the guy is just using her, and she might be abandoned after having sex with him.
For the girls that have one night stands or flings. At the back of their minds, the girls fear being used but also want to have some fun, so need to get themselves drunk to remove the fear of being used. Maybe it's the girl who is using the guy, maybe she is able to seperate the physical from the emotional and just have some fun. But only some girls are able to do it, and/or some of the time.
A lot of girls start off in control and not serious, and then some time later, their MSN or facebook status changes to "I hate all men" or "All men are assholes", etc. (yes, stop doing that). Here's something most people don't realise. Sex is more important to a girl than a guy. That seems like a strange statement, because girls don't need sex the same way guys do, and aren't driven by it. Generally sex is bad for a girl, because most guys cum before a girl has her first orgasm. But if the sex is really good, lasts for a couple of hours and the girl has multiple orgasms, she'll go crazy about the guy.
For a guy, good sex is just that, it's physical. For a girl, good sex means she starts to think about the guy in an emotional way. It's strange, and I'm all confused still.....One thing's for sure. If the sex is really good, and the girl starts liking you, but you don't like her, don't want to date her, and don't want the associated guilt trip of telling her to leave you alone.........do this. BE A NICE GUY, call her up 3 times the next day and tell her how much she means to you. Send flowers to her on day 3. She'll think you're a clingy freak and tell you to back off! Problem solved.....
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