tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5161162296979557423.post5986981385367029033..comments2023-06-10T22:39:52.529+08:00Comments on Relationships in Hong Kong: How to get a guy to settle down part 9: Playing hard to getCarlton Bradshawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03166348240354680954noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5161162296979557423.post-22650584639508363932008-09-26T18:58:00.000+08:002008-09-26T18:58:00.000+08:00Why worry about annoying the other person? How els...Why worry about annoying the other person? How else you suppose to find out? <BR/><BR/>If it's a guy hitting on a girl, go for it, nothing to lose, if you hit on the girl there's some chance, if not there's zero chance. <BR/><BR/>As for a girl hitting on a guy, I strongly suggest that's a bad idea. But a girl can flirt, and if there's no respons the guy's probably not interested. No need to complicate with what if he's lukewarm. If he's not sure, then forget it.Carlton Bradshawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03166348240354680954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5161162296979557423.post-3649237947393939372008-09-25T00:03:00.000+08:002008-09-25T00:03:00.000+08:00makes sense but things arent always as black and w...makes sense but things arent always as black and white. what if the other person is hot and cold? probably means they might be interested but not really that much. hard to gage whether hard work might flip the coin or whether it will just annoy them more.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5161162296979557423.post-54775575746118965762008-09-24T07:54:00.000+08:002008-09-24T07:54:00.000+08:00That question is actually easier to answer than pe...That question is actually easier to answer than peoeple realise. People just seem to overcomplicate the "does he/ she like me?" question by asking too many what if's. <BR/><BR/>Also, when a guy or girl likes someone they hope the other person will like them back, so even if there's lack of interest they often confuse a friendly gesture for interest. <BR/><BR/>If a guy really liked a girl he would chase the girl. There are many guys that are shy or been hurt before by girls. But at the end of the day if the guy really liked a girl he would ask the girl out for a date. <BR/><BR/>If a guy pursues a girl he's interested. If he's stops calling then he's lost interest. It's as simple as that. There's a good book called "He's just not that into you" which drills this point in time and time again. <BR/><BR/>As for whether a girl likes a guy. A lot of guys find girls hard to read. But usually if a girl's smiling and flirting, she's interested. If a girl goes on a date with a guy she's interested. The key is to grow that interest, so the girl wants to be with the guy. <BR/><BR/>Don't believe me? If a girl is not interested, it doesn't matter if the guy calls her 100 times. She's just going to think he's an annoying creep. <BR/><BR/>Whether someone is interested or not is a simple matter. All you have to do is remove hope, and look at the situation clearly.Carlton Bradshawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03166348240354680954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5161162296979557423.post-78711054567477672112008-09-23T15:15:00.000+08:002008-09-23T15:15:00.000+08:00all this talk about what strategies to use or whet...all this talk about what strategies to use or whether to play games at all... but what about the fundamental question: how do you know someone likes you? if we knew what the deal was being ourselves would be so much easier, both for boys and girls.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5161162296979557423.post-41371806079601439652008-09-15T02:32:00.000+08:002008-09-15T02:32:00.000+08:00Amy: So why do girls, with the same base urges, ha...Amy: So why do girls, with the same base urges, have so many more inhibitions about a guy they just met? It must not be due to social pressures (that her friends view her as "easy"), since those friends have the same urges and thoughts. <BR/><BR/>I met an older woman a few weeks ago, at a club with her sister. After dancing a while, we were on the same page, but she said she couldn't leave with me because she had been out of town some months, she was with her sister, etc. Then, for whatever reason, without further convincing (I had tried and failed there, but liked her and hung around), a little while later she just had a total change of mind. We were both happy for it. She had simply been content to say to her sister, let's do lunch tmrw. <BR/><BR/>On women, paraphrasing Golding, I only know that I know nothing. Usually that's a bad thing; once in a blue moon, the result is positive.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5161162296979557423.post-53315770825007458562008-09-15T02:25:00.000+08:002008-09-15T02:25:00.000+08:00You're right. I made a misleading comment. Lots of...You're right. I made a misleading comment. Lots of girls like to have sex without strings attached. <BR/>But when a girl really likes a guy she doesn't want to have sex with the guy and then get dumped right after. <BR/>Guys know this so the ones that actually really like a girl are willing to wait. <BR/><BR/>But I also said if you find out the guy is thinking of you only as a sex object, and you still think he's cute, then you can still have sex with him. Just leave it at that and don't expect anything more.<BR/><BR/>It's all about expectations.Carlton Bradshawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03166348240354680954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5161162296979557423.post-62840313427383101442008-09-14T20:45:00.000+08:002008-09-14T20:45:00.000+08:00Guys are not stupid, they know women don't want to...Guys are not stupid, they know women don't want to have sex too soon."<BR/><BR/>This is so NOT TRUE. Women have their needs, we actually do WANT sex and we ENJOY it. Nevermind urban myths, it doesn t play a role if we met the guy that night or if we have known him for years.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5161162296979557423.post-8140924771785008782008-09-14T15:53:00.000+08:002008-09-14T15:53:00.000+08:00There are many personality types, and people have ...There are many personality types, and people have different expectations. So there are few rules that work for everyone.<BR/><BR/>However, there are general rules such as "not being easy", or self respect as you put it that are important for all relationships.<BR/><BR/>I disagree with you however when you say there are no rules on what's the best way to make a relationship work, because if that's the case marriage or couples counseling would have zero affect on the ability of couples to improve their situation.<BR/><BR/>The important thing though is understanding the person you are with, and how they tick. Then it's possible to work out the best way to interact and communicate with them.<BR/><BR/>Some people think "strategies" don't work, and therefore they'll just be themselves, and then wonder why they fail in relationships. Ultimately there are better ways to communicate and deal with relationships, just as there are better ways to deal with human beings in other areas of life.<BR/><BR/>Problem with dealing with relationships is that because there is so much complexity, it's hard to find the right strategy, and then there are always emotions and selfish desires that cloud judgement.Carlton Bradshawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03166348240354680954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5161162296979557423.post-88554771983993096692008-09-14T11:32:00.000+08:002008-09-14T11:32:00.000+08:00Totally agree with you about those self-help books...Totally agree with you about those self-help books....most of them are in the same theme about " hard to get" and let the men suffer before you fully committe to them. How the hell a relationship can develope base on that?! Anyway...agian there is no rules on what's the best way to make relationship works. Self-respect is the key I suppose.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com